you were a schemer. you had plans. look where it got you.

"they float... they float, georgie, and so will you, when you're down here with me... you'll FLOAT, georgie"

aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh. T______T

so. I found out just recently that Kyle may or may not have just gotten a girlfriend. what do I think of this? well, I went from feeling like I was about to cry, to irritation, to jealousy, and back to feeling like I was gonna cry. and then, for a while, I was mellow. if he would be happy, that would make me happy. I see him almost every day, looking so depressed, and it actually makes me sad. his last girlfriend dumped him because she was a biatch and liked another guy more, even though he obviously totally loved her. so of course, eventually, I decided that I just wanted him to be happy with a girl who wouldn't totally crush him like the last one did.

er, then I went back to jealousy and almost-tears. and now I find out that it may, in fact, be a girl that I have hated - no no, despised - no, loathed - since last year. she was in my french class, and then in my art class last semester with Kyle and I.

why do I hate her so much? I didn't know when I was in french, but after art, I definitely have a reason.

towards the end of the semester, miss Courtney (I friggin' hate that name) started sitting at our table because Jessica and Tara moved to another table. I was fine with the arrangement as it was - just me, Kyle, and the nice quiet girl sitting alone at our table. but noooo. Courtney had to sit with us. and she couldn't stand that Kyle preferred talking to me.

every time he would say something to me, she would butt in and start with the ditzy little "oh, Kyle..." this and "haha, Kyle..." that. and above all, she does drugs all the time. she's constantly high. and Kyle hates drugs. (another reason why I love him)

so earlier today, I'm having lunch with my friends when my friend Rachel tells me that she thinks she knows who Kyle's girlfriend is. I totally felt this huge wave of jealousy, but then I was like, who is it?
and she said, Courtney W. I just about smashed my head against the wall right then and there. "YOU'RE KIDDING ME" was my first verbal reaction. Rachel kinda looked really annoyed for me, since she always thought I should ask Kyle out and thought we'd be really cute together. anyway, she told me that she had seen them walking close together and kind of acting like more-than-friends. well, I said, Kyle's kind of like that anyway. he's very huggy, and sweet, and cute, and makes hearts with his hands at people, and one time he did this cute little wave to his friend that totally- *cough* ahem. anyways.

so, I thought, maybe Courtney is just his friend. not girlfriend. because Kyle had stood close to me on more than one occasion. (although, every time he decided to bully me in some way. xP one time when I was leaning up against a table he prodded me in the side until I moved over for him to lean against the table too. XD and another time, he just stood close to me and kept trying to make me drop my books. it was funny. :D) but the thing is, I don't know. I don't know whether he has a girlfriend or not, but I just want him to be happy. so if that's what makes him happy, then so be it.

well... I guess that's it for now. jeez I hope that he's not going out with Courtney. that would pretty much kill me.

Sangy out... *sigh* < / 3